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Most people who make the extremely unwise decision to be unfaithful do not realize all of the ways their lives (and their loved one’s lives! A good amount of women might, at some point, have had a passing thought about an affair — but only a fraction of them actually go through with it. Perhaps they “reconnected” on Facebook, forged a friendship at work or started flirting with a friend. Now the cheater was them, and the shame would never, ever go away. It was the two of them against the world and they relished that bond. Just when they least expected it, this perfect lover — the one they risked life and limb to be with at every secretive turn — would do something to irritate, disillusion or disappoint.

A guy has fallen for this great, cute, smart girl; they’ve been friends for years, and the guy knows they’d be great together. A sad, uncomfortable look crosses her face and she tries to break it to him gently, saying, “I don’t want to risk our friendship” or “We’re better off just friends.” That phrase is also used as an excuse – by both guys and girls – who don’t want to become romantically involved but don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or destroy a friendship. Maintain that line so there’s no sexual attraction.

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It wouldn’t be until they physically crossed that line that they realized everything they stood to lose. Even if they tried to keep communication to the bare minimum, they had to arrange risqué rendezvous.

Sometimes they were not even sure how this all happened.

When they were not busy obsessing about these questions, these women were playing over all of the possible outcomes in their heads until they were spinning. They took vows and were building a life and a family. They cried in the shower, in the car, in the bathroom at work.

They are someone’s wife, possibly someone’s mother.

Look at Steve Jobs, Winston Churchill, Zuckerberg, and on and on.


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